A Few Tips For Our Creator


Look, I don’t want this to be completely negative and, let’s face it, you got a lot of things right, and I want you to know I truly appreciate them. For instance, this time of year, I’m seeing a lot of baby toes out and about and I have to say, those things are just about the best things ever. I mean, even the babies whose toes they are want to eat them, so well done, you.

Coming home from work, I see the kids splashing around in the public swimming pool on the corner and I realize that making bodies of water buoyant was pretty cool, too. I mean, the shipping industry is pretty grateful that boats can float.

Though, of course, that hasn’t always been a good thing, has it? Without those floating boats, we wouldn’t have felt the need or the ability to go out and conquer the world the way we have. But, fair dues, you made the buoyancy and we were the ones who used it to our nefarious ends.  We could have just floated peacefully, like the ducks or the fish or whatever.

While we’re on the subject of water, I can’t help but thinking you missed quite an opportunity with the whole ‘it’s liquid until it’s  cold enough to be a solid’ thing. Wouldn’t it have been a lot more fun if, between liquid and solid, you had put in another, Jello-like state? Gradually solidifying so that at a certain temperature lakes would become like giant bouncy castles?

Maybe next time around.

And you made our noses able to get used to smells, something that pig farmers and garbage collectors the world over are grateful for. And I don’t understand how that works in the brain, but couldn’t you have added ‘ability to feel pain’ to the list  of things we can get used to?

I mean, I’m sad that I can no longer smell fresh bread when I walk into my bakery, which is the downside to being able to get used to the really bad smells. And you can walk away from bad smells, but Christ Almighty (do say hello for me, will you?) pain is so infinitely portable and after a certain time, maybe we could just get used to it and not feel it anymore? That would be really helpful.

Still, as I said, good job on the rest of it. Just a few suggestions if you ever decide to try a redesign…

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11 Responses to A Few Tips For Our Creator

  1. says:

    Sooooooo love you.

  2. Mary Ann says:


  3. Randi says:

    Wonderfully whimsical! Just wish you didn’t have to suffer. I’m guessing the pain is worse in this heat.

  4. Karen Elliott says:

    Best prayer EVER!!! Let’s hope there’s a do-over.

  5. Karen Elliott says:

    One more thing. Might you consider a position at the pulpit? Even just for the praying bits. I never would have quit church if you were at the helm!

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