There is nothing like learning new skills for leaving you whacked-out, confused and filled with self-doubt. It stretches you. And as we all know, stretching is inconvenient and uncomfortable.
Blogging is a process that is constantly changing and evolving. So, even though I’ve been doing if for a few years, I still feel like a beginner. It’s kind of like parenthood. Or teaching. Or looking after elderly relatives. There’s always something new to make you feel not quite up to the task.
Challenges are good. Change is healthy. You look for and try out new ideas as you go. Some fit, some don’t. But sometimes in all that looking and trying, you can start to lose track of yourself. All those good ideas belong to other people and you need, at least occasionally, to come back to yourself.
I spent much of this week researching and thinking and getting distracted, wondering what the hell I’m even doing blogging when there are all these other, better people out there launching products and turning off their comments and being sooooo minimalist and with my dust bunnies and distractibility maybe I should just practise saying “Do you want fries with that?” Cuz the book deals aren’t coming and the world is not beating a path to my door. And I will always and forever be just learning.
Then I had a birthday and man, those things are just packed with life lessons, aren’t they? Especially when you’re just this side of fifty and trying new things.
We went out for a very nice dinner with a good friend to celebrate. When we got home, there was a present waiting for me from another good friend.
You read that right. Bacon MINTS! Truly the wrongest combination of flavours that ever existed. I opened the tin right there in the driveway and the three of us tried them, laughing loudly and scaring the neighbours.
I sent Sandy an email, thanking her for the thoughtful gift. She wrote back that when she was travelling up north a few weeks back, she wandered into a candy store …I came across Bacon Mints and thought “BARB!!!”
All this learning and trying and getting distracted had made me start to question who I really am. Feeling fed up with myself for being perpetually in the category of just learning.
Oh, wait. That’s what I wanted my life to be about, isn’t it? The learning bit. The ranting and hyperventilating just comes with the territory.
Funny how a silly gift can snap you out of a self-questioning funk. Because now I know. Who am I? I am BACON MINTS!!!!!!!
So. Please tell me. Who are you?
***If you haven’t joined the HappySimple Facebook community yet, I hope you’ll take a look this weekend. It’s where I post interesting links. And yesterday I added a photo album of DIY projects that I think you’ll like.
To all you who have already ‘liked’ it – you have no idea how happy that makes me!***
As part of yet one more branding exercise at the uni, we — faculty folk — were asked to come up a pity description of ourselves, I’m assuming to be used in some brochure or another, so I did:
“I’m just a proud, noisy, committed middle-aged queen with bad teeth
and a questionable fashion sense, but I know some stuff about some stuff,
which is the wisest I’ve ever wanted to be. ”
Hasn’t shown up in a brochure yet…..
however, it can’t quite beat Bacon Mints!
You’re free to borrow it, if you think it will help…
They just don’t know a good blurb when they see one, do they?
Well, nothing wrong with questioning where you are! It’s that kind of dissatisfaction or frustration that pushes us to try something new, ’cause what we’re doing exactly right now just isn’t working the way it used to. So…. you read another book, or start another project, start a blog, take up motorcycle riding….. Many of us are not cut out for being 100% satisfied with who we are right now – I think some people refer to that as ‘evolving’. So you just keep evolving – and sharing it, because it inspires people.