Category Archives: Uncategorized

Life Lessons

Alan and I went to see The King’s Speech, set at the start of World War Two,  last night.  When we go to a movie, we stay right through the credits.  Gaffers and stand-ins can take comfort in the fact that someone, somewhere is seeing their name on the big screen. 

As we were watching, there was the usual post-movie shuffling around as people gathered up their coats and popcorn boxes and started heading for the exits.  Behind us,  a woman with an English accent said, “Ooooh, that sound sends a chill down my spine even now…  Did the sirens sound the same on your side?”

And her friend, with an eastern European accent, explained that she never really heard air-raid sirens until afterwards.  But then, of course, “they turned us over to the Russians…”

They chatted a bit more about their experiences.  The English lady lived in a big city, where bombings were frequent.  Her friend lived in a small town, up in the mountains of Czechoslovakia.

As they made their way out of the theatre, I said to Alan, “Want to follow history?”  and we walked out after them, at a discreet distance. They were two old ladies.  They reminded me of my Mum.

I bet that, in the midst of those dark and frightening times, with the bombs and the sirens for one and then the repression and the fear for the other, they never thought that time would pass, that one day they would be old and safe, going to a movie with a friend who once was the enemy, chatting about a shared experience, the divisions that once seemed so important rendered irrelevant by old age and the losses that entails.

We all think that this time we’re in, right here, right now is the end of time.  We say things like, I never thought I’d end up here…

But we haven’t.  We haven’t ended up, we don’t end up, until we’ve actually ended.  Whatever bombs seem to be falling on our lives will, eventually, stop.  And, yes, there will be reminders, the sound of sirens will send a chill down our spine, but chances are, we will be safe and warm, in the company of a good friend who may have once been the enemy, or merely a stranger, giving a lesson in history and in life to two avid students on a random Wednesday evening.

You Know You Can Say No, Right?

(This is the second part of the post I started yesterday.)

So.  You have your list.  Now what? 

I recommend taking the top five people or activities on that list and really making time for them in your life.  The next five you can keep there as time becomes available.  And the rest, you slowly and consciously stop making time for.  You say no.  You let the membership expire.  You let it go.  You move on. 

This will open up space in your life, space for those top five priorities.  Those activities and relationships that are so important to you, that give your life meaning. 

This list-making exercise is also really helpful for those times when life seems to be happening all at once.  When the demands of your life start to conflict, you can look at your list and remind yourself that your husband is more important than your job.  Your mother comes after your kids.  Television is way down there at #39 and your husband wants to talk. 

Decision-making becomes a whole lot easier when you know what’s important.  Guilt becomes less of an issue when you know that you’re choosing your most important over your sort of important.  You can’t be two places at once, so you go where you most need to be and let yourself off the hook for everything else.

This is not to say that you will never watch TV again.  Or that your number one priority will get all your attention all the time.  That tends to scare people.  And there will be lots of times when priority one wants to do their own thing.  Without you.  That’s fine.  That leaves time for other people and interests.  Or catching up on your sleep.

This is not about perfection or ‘always playing your A-game’ .   A-games are exhausting.  Lots of times your B-game is plenty good enough.  Sometimes your Q-game is all you have in you.  It’s OK.

This is just a way of ensuring that what’s important to you gets covered.  That you don’t neglect yourself or your loved ones in favour of some committee or hobby that you think you should be spending time on but that, really, you have no interest in.

I made my list nearly twenty years ago.  It has helped me make so many important decisions.  I was able to guiltlessly abandon the B & B my husband and I were running when my sister was dying.  We took a sabbatical when my mother needed care and whenever I begin to squinch up about the financial fallout from that decision, I go back to my list and calm the heck down.

It’s a bit of work to come up with the list, but it can lead to a life that makes that effort so totally worth it.

Please tell me your thoughts.  Do you think consciously ordering your priorities will make it easier for you to make time for what gives your life meaning and let the rest slide?  Or will it still be difficult?

Today’s photo: Above York Street

End of Summer Dreaming

September is just hours away.

It must have been all those years I spent in school, but somehow this always feels like the real New Year to me.  It’s when I do my best Spring Cleaning, plan my big projects.

 216484115_0568b2467c                                                                                                                                srbyug

This year we will be updating the kitchen a little, maybe tearing down some walls. 

Sorting, tidying, putting things in their place.

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stacy michelle

Always remembering, of course, to leave time for dreaming.

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stacy michelle

Does anyone else catch a second breath in September?

***Just a little blog business – I’ve decided to link up to interesting blogs, posts, articles, etc. over on the HappySimple Facebook Page.  I hope you’ll join us there! (I’ve posted two links already!)***

Celebrating the Attempt

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OakleyOriginals

My post on embarrassment struck a chord with a few of you.  I hope it helps to know you’re not alone in your struggles.

And I hope that you fully understand that most of the time, your embarrassment comes about because you’re out there, trying something.  And that’s what we’re going to celebrate this weekend.  The attempt, no matter how it turns out, to learn something new, to express ourselves, to make the world around us a better place.

Yes, these attempts can go wildly awry.  You can work and work and work and end up with, well, huh.  Not quite what you were expecting.  Sometimes you try to make dessert for four and end up with The Pavlovasaurus (eight eggs – how did it get so big???)

Akan and the pavlovasaurus.

Or sometimes, it takes a really long time to see if you’re making any progress at all.  Like adding pages to this blog.  It’s going to take awhile to import all the Celebration Friday posts from my previous blogs.  The interfaces aren’t compatible, so I’ve been spending my afternoons hacking code. 

Has anyone noticed that I’ve added a page here?  That’s what I thought.

But you get out there and you try.  Yay, you! Reward yourself.  Celebrate getting out there.  Don’t worry so much about the outcome.  Yes, of course, you want it to be great.  We all do.  And sometimes it will be.  And sometimes it will make for a really funny story.

The motto of the Special Olympics is “Let me win.  But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.”  They’re the words I live by, as I keep on trying.

So let me know, what have you been attempting this week?  What should you be patting yourself on the back for?  Please let me know so I can cheer you on!

A Puzzlement

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.A.A.

Our recent heatwave has broken and the nights are cooling off.  Huge.  Relief. 

If I go barefoot all day (and I usually do) by early evening, my toes get really chilly and the cold starts creeping upwards to my ankles, especially on nights we have a long, leisurely dinner on the deck.

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Scarleth White

And I know that a month or so from now I will find cold feet really tedious and misery inducing. 

So why do they feel like such an utter luxury to me now?

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