Tag Archives: be flexible

Love Unexpected Part Deux

I’ve spoken before about friendships that happen when you least expect them.  And now I have another story to tell.

As we were rolling into summer, a friend called and asked if I could take over dog-walking duties for her.  I had walked Ruffles, the dog in question, a few times before.  Lynne needed to head out west to see her parents and I had not much going on so I said sure!

The plan was that I would walk him for two weekends and then he would move to a new home while his then-owner got ready to move into a nursing home.  That was the plan.

Two weeks turned into another two and then an on-going commitment.  Weekends only became weekdays as well for awhile.  And we decided to open a bakery.

As we rolled into September, I started to panic a little.  There are two major food festivals here that we need participate in.  Lynne’s parents needed more help and more time than she had reckoned and Ruffles still needed his walk. 

One day, his owner, Pat, started talking about her plans for the future, her need to stop living on her own.  “I’m a hazard!” she’d say with a grin as she shuffled around her kitchen.  Living alone was getting harder and harder for her.  I worried that she’d fall.   As gently as I could, I asked what her plans were for Ruffles when a space became available for her.  Silence and then, very quietly, “He’ll have to be euthanized.”

“How sad will that make you?”

“I try not to think about it.”

I wrestled with my conscience for a moment.  Alan and I had sort of talked about it.  But in all the work setting up the bakery, we hadn’t actually reached a conclusion.

Shit.

“We can’t let that happen.” I told her.  “If you don’t have anyone else when the time comes, we’ll take him.”

You know when they say, a weight lifted from someone’s shoulders?  I literally saw it happen.  That woman was three inches taller when I left that day.

And how cool is it that when I said to Alan, “I told Pat we’ll take Ruffles when the time comes.  That’s OK, right?” he just said, “Yuh.”

Well, Pat’s space came available and on Saturday night, we became dog people.  The timing is terrible.  Huge food festival this weekend.  Tons of work and exhaustion.  Plus we leave for Paris on Monday, a trip we planned ages ago. (Thank goodness for our friend Maxine who will take him in, love him up and spoil him rotten while we’re away.)  But you know what?  Now that he’s here, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I wake up in the morning to his little cartoon face smiling at me, wondering if it’s time for a walk or a cuddle.  He hangs out in the kitchen when Alan’s cooking.  He makes friends wherever he goes.

We never planned to get a dog, he just wandered into our life and needed us. 

And you know, some of the best decisions I’ve ever made were ill-considered and badly thought through, made in a moment of clarity when something deep inside of me just said “Do this!” and all the sensible parts of me  smacked their foreheads and gave up. 

How about you?  Do you plan your life carefully and sensibly or do you follow that anarchic voice inside?  And which do you prefer?

The Kerplunk Theory of Energy Movement part 2

Well hello there!  It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?  Sorry about that.  I’ve had a bunch of thoughts running around in my head lately, but none of them would settle down long enough to become an actual post. 

I’ve also been doing a lot of gardening – digging all the grass out of my front boulevard and trying to turn it into something pretty and low-maintenance.  It’s a hellish amount of work, but it’s coming along and percolating more thoughts for more posts in the future.  And you should see my biceps!!!

Anyway…

In part 1 of this ramble I mentioned that I played with the energy in someone’s shoulder and they started to see opportunities where none had been before.  That someone was my lovely husband and the opportunities are all the things that needed to come together for him to be able to open a bakery.  It’s something he’s been trying to do for nearly three years now and there was always something missing.  He could find a space at a reasonable rent, but couldn’t find the ovens he needed.  Or he had the ovens, but nowhere to put them.  It was really frustrating.  Painful at times.

But things have come together.  He’s signed the lease on the bake space, has a line on the ovens, places lined up to sell to.  And customers lined up drooling and waiting to buy – Alan makes really good bread.

So am I claiming that this all came about through the power of Reiki?  Yes, totally, because it makes him roll his eyes every time I do and how fun is that???

Seriously, though.  I can’t claim that it’s all down to the Reiki.  Alan was doing his homework.  He was looking and trying.  I just find it really interesting that none of that was moving the dream forward and after a couple of treatments, Presto!

Before you write me off completely, let me tell you what I think might have happened.

Alan has a sore shoulder – an injury that keeps flaring up every time he does ‘this’.  We haven’t figured out what ‘this’ is so that he can stop doing it, but an hour on the Reiki table and he feels better.  At least until he does ‘this’ again… 

Pain depletes our energy really really quickly.  Injuries need to heal and that takes energy.  Relieving the pain, even for just a little while frees up some of that energy, lets you be more alert, lets you see opportunity, lets you use your problem-solving skills. 

Energy interconnects with everything.  Is the connection that we can’t see.  Is the reason making your shoulder feel better can help your dreams fall into your lap like a ripe plum.

So if your life isn’t moving ahead the way you’d like it to, maybe you could try taking care of the thing that seems inconsequential, but is constantly throbbing away in the background, hurting you and stealing away your energy.

Celebrating Avoidance

I woke up to the sound of rain this morning.  And it melted all my ambition, just like that.  There were dishes to do from a dinner party last night, things to clean, business, um, stuff to move ahead on…

If I keep listing it all, I’m gonna need a nap.

I’m a huge fan of Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half fame.  And this one is my current favourite post, partly because I’m convinced I’ll never be a real adult, either.  I regularly (whine)brag to Alan about my (in)abilities at Cleaning All the Things.  I  spent an inordinate amount of time yesterday trying to decide whether it’s better to half-clean most of the things or mostly clean half the things.  Before that, I was all happy about my new life and getting the house sorted and working on my garden.  But then I hit the wall and decided to mostly clean half the things, expecting to be an adult again today.

But then it rained. 

Any day that starts out wet and misery-inducing gets what it deserves.  So, instead of cleaning any of the things, I dragged a table up from the basement and put it together in the bedroom (it was in pieces – that’s the only way it fits through the doors).  So now I have a spot to do some sewing and work on my cards without having to clear it all away every time we want a meal.  I also don’t have to do a weight workout today, cuz, holy crap! That thing is heavy! Plus, now I don’t have to torture my husband with moving it this weekend.

I also got caught up on some correspondence/Facebook and got started on some sewing projects I’d like to have ready should the long slow Spring we’re having round here ever actually take off into summer.

And here’s what I’ve learned about Avoidance.  It’s not really the sinful time-waster the productivity coaches or your teachers/parents/boss will tell you it is.  It can be amazingly productive.  Puttering about, not doing what you “should” be doing can knock an amazing number of little annoying tasks off your to do list.  It’s also how your brain rests.  I go into avoidance mode when I’m tired and haven’t been paying attention to that.  So I potter, I do little tasks, I play.  And somehow, I usually also end up doing the things I set out to avoid doing without really feeling like I’ve had to be an adult and actually do them.

Be gentle with yourself when you’re avoiding something.  There’s far more going on there than you’re giving yourself credit for.

Please share your favourite avoidance activities with us.  It’s always good to add something new to the repertoire.  And have a lovely weekend!

Take My Advice I’m Not Using It

The past few weeks have been a time of change and upheaval here at Casa HappySimple. 

OK, when is it not?  Still, the last few weeks seemed just a wee bit more fraught than usual.

Remember that new job I was telling you about?  The one that I thought would last me well into the next decade or so?  Well, things changed.  A lot.  And quickly. 

There are times when you see the brick wall looming up in front of you, but no matter how big and thick and impenetrable you know it is, you hope to avoid having to change direction anyway.  Because you don’t want to look like a loser.  Because the same stupid wall keeps looming up in front of you, even when you’re sure this time will be different. 

Because you don’t want to fail.

In the run-up to my decision to leave, I had many chats with a good friend.  And at one point she said to me, ‘You know, I’ve been reading this blog that you might want to look into.  It’s called HappySimple.”

I said, “Shut up.”

She said, “Especially the Failure post.”

So I reread it and the next day I handed in my resignation.  And here I am, back in the scary, thrilling world of solo-preneurship.  Selling my handmade cards at the Slow Food Market and (soon) a local art gallery.  I’m halfway through my Reiki training and it is SO COOL!

And if I were a friend instead of being me I would be cheering for me and shouting these accomplishments from the rooftops instead of feeling just a bit weird about it all.

The day I handed in my resignation, I went to a women’s networking event with my soon to be former boss and all of my co-workers.  It doesn’t get much more awkward than that.   But the woman who organized the event gave a little talk and used the line in the title and I knew I’d have to tell this story, out here in public, because a great line like that just can’t go unused, even though I’d really rather just ignore the events of the last few weeks.

So I’m back.  And I’ll have lots more thoughts and ideas for you as I take in my new situation and the Reiki wisdom (did I mention that it’s SO COOL????).  And I won’t have the answers.  Not ever.  Just lots and lots of really interesting questions, some cool stories and all the encouragement you could ever need.

Which, occasionally, my friends will throw right back in my face for me.

When Being Organized is a Bad Idea

I posted this video over on the HappySimple Facebook page last week.  Just in case you didn’t see it, I thought I’d post it here as well.  I love the utter ridiculousness of the idea of tidying up art.

And I hope that you can take that lesson into your everyday life.  And know that there are times when being organized and tidy are good, like when you have reports that need doing, or blog posts to write or other point A to point B activities.  

A tidy enough house can make daily life smoother and more pleasant (and you get to pick what constitutes enough).

But there are times when being organized and tidy actually gets in the way of living.  Like when your baby is fussy and needs a cuddle.  Or when you want to spend time with the one you love.  In fact, if you don’t guard those moments lovingly and fiercely, you can organize them right out of existence.

I have a friend who repeatedly tries to get more organized.  And I applaud her efforts.  But I hope, I mean, I really, truly hope she knows that her lack of organization  is one of her most endearing qualities.  Cups of tea appear before you and she will literally drop everything, on the floor if necessary, to sit down and have a visit.   What could be more charming, more life-affirming, what could possibly be better than that?

So, yes, get organized if you want to.  Just remember to guard the precious bits.  Like a modern painting, they thrive on chaos.

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