One Person’s Meh Is Another Person’s Amazing

There’s a lot of talk among bloggers these days about the importance of having something to actually say before you post.  The pressure is on to post greatness.  Because, as Scott Stratten says, nobody spreads Meh.

And these sentiments apply outside the blogosphere as well.  Entire shelves of self-help books are devoted to giving your best to whatever you do, whether you’re an athlete or an accountant.

Which, to a point, is fine.  It’s good to put work out there that you can stand behind, that won’t embarrrass you when you look at it later on. 

But once you get past the point of not being actively ashamed of what you’re putting out there, do you really know which is Meh and which is Amazing?  I sure don’t. 

I’ve been blogging for five years now, on this and other sites.  And while I always put a certain effort into each post, giving my readers the respect you deserve, I am constantly surprised by the posts that catch on and the ones that don’t.   The ones that I put out there thinking it’s fine but probably not great take off.  And the ones that I think are real barnburners? Meh, more often than not. 

On an earlier blog, I put up a post about some invisible floating bookshelves I’d installed in my living room, made from inexpensive L-brackets from the hardware store.  I remember hitting the publish button and promising myself I’d do better next time, but thinking that someone might like the idea.

Apartment Therapy picked it up.  And then so did a whole bunch of other blogs.  To this day, when I get  a Google Alert for that now-retired blog, I know that my shelves are making the rounds again.  And recently I had a request from LivingEtc. India to publish a picture in an upcoming issue and how cool is it to be able to add something to your Life List just so you can cross it off?  Because, seriously?  Having a photo of mine published in an international decorating magazine is so off the map cool, the thought of it never occured to me.

So while we exhort people to do their best work, I think we need to acknowledge the fact that everyone has a different opinion of what’s good and what’s great.  Even the really popular stuff won’t be a hit with everybody.  It just won’t.

So what do we do about that?  My suggestion is to put it all out there.  All the stuff that you can stand behind, even if you think it’s maybe just a little Meh.  Because, honestly, it could be The Thing.  The Thing you get known for, The Thing that inspires someone, The Thing that sparks a comment that leads you to a better Thing.  Or to something cooler than you can imagine.  But you won’t know until you try.

And it’s not just me saying it.  Have a look at this post by my friend John Williams of Screw Work Let’s Play.  And watch the video. It’s brilliant!

Celebrating Friends Who Do Amazing Things

I haven’t had a lot of internet time over the last few weeks, but luckily, I checked in with my friend Corine Gantz of Hidden in France just as she announced that her first novel Hidden in Paris has been published.  You turn your back for 5 minutes…

I am soo excited for her and for us lucky readers, because Corine writes so well – funny, insightful and full of heart.

I asked if I could interview her as a way to encourage the rest of us to take a chance and follow a dream.  She graciously said yes and answered these questions:

1)    What inspired you to write a novel?

About ten years ago I read a novel that was just vile and I could not believe it was a best seller being made into a movie (no names!) And I was silly enough to tell myself “If this author can get published so can I” and “It can’t be that hard”.  I was, of course, terribly wrong on both counts: writing a novel is a momentous undertaking, and being published quite rare.  For every written novel there are a thousand started and abandoned.  And for every published one there are a hundred sitting in drawers never to see the light of day. Had I known what I know now I wouldn’t have started, and I’m thankful for my naiveté, because this has been an amazing ride.
 
2) Was it a scary process?
 
What, me scared? You’re speaking perhaps of the highs I got as I wrote, the doubts, the guilt, the alternating self-flagellating and self-aggrandizement, the horrid dry spells, the rejections, the criticism, looking for an agent, getting an agent, losing an agent, every part of this terrified me to bits. Even after the novel was finished I was afraid to put myself out there, afraid of failure.  Now that Hidden in Paris is out I’m scared people won’t like my story and my beloved character, which I have grown a tad defensive about. I have braved many, many fears to do this and it feels great! 
 
3)    How excited are you now that it’s in print?
 
It really is like a birth.  It was painful but it is OUT!  I have the most elating feeling of completion.  And to hold what was once just an idea in my hand gives me great pleasure.
 
4) Any words of encouragement for anyone else who wants to follow their dream?
 
I would say picture the destination, where you want to be, and do not bother yourself with the how.  If you focus of the roadblocks and impossibilities you will stop yourself every step of the way.  But if you have a strong enough vision and you do not censor yourself, things will conspire in making your dream possible.  You’ll recognize opportunities and take one micro step at a time. In the process of publishing Hidden in Paris I constantly reminded myself that other books too were created one word, and one sentence at a time, and that every published author was once an unpublished one.
 
….aaaand anything else you’d want people to know.
 
I want people to know that had it not been for the support of bloggers who sent such wonderful feedback and lovely emails, I would never have been able to finish this project. Bloggers have given me strength and they have given me wings in ways that friends and even family could never have.

Thanks so much, Corine, for giving us a such a great road-map for following our dreams!  Huge congratulations to you!

I hope you’ll all be taking a look at your dreams this weekend (and buying Hidden in Paris, of course).  Please let me know how it goes. I’m waiting to cheer for each and every one of you!

The Kerplunk Theory of Energy Movement

Friday’s post touched a bit of a nerve.  Seems a lot of us use avoidance but feel kind of bad about it.  Which made me think about energy and how pottering about over here can make something shift way over there and how we can use that to our advantage when we don’t feel up to dealing with the stuff over there.  A bit like how scubbing the floor really hard with your mop can knock a bunch of stuff off the kitchen counter with the other end.  Only in a good way.

You’re used to my tangents by now, right?

So I told you awhile back that I’d been feeling stuck.  Creatively, financially, life path-i-ly.  And then I got my Reiki attunement and things started to shift. 

But they didn’t shift because I meant them to shift or because I shifted them.  They did that all on their own, because other things were shifting and moving around.

As a Reiki practitioner, I play with energy.  And sometimes it seems very direct and straightforward.  I play with the energy in your knee and your knee stops hurting.  Simples.

But sometimes it’s a lot less straightforward.  I play with the energy in your shoulder and you suddenly start seeing opportunities where none seemed to exist before.  Ummmm, what?

I like to figure things out.   I’ve never been able to accept “It’s a mystery” as an answer for anything.  This is why I made such a bad Catholic, but why I seem to be having some success as a blogger.

So here’s my working theory of how shifting energy can lead to such unexpected results and why that’s such good news for you.

Remember the game Kerplunk?  Clear plastic tube with parallel holes into which you stuck a whole bunch of skewers (the set-up often took longer than the game itself) and then dumped in a bunch of marbles.  Then you took turns pulling out one stick at a time until the marbles dropped all over the floor and you had to go play outside for awhile.

Sometimes the marbles would drop within the first few turns and sometimes they’d wait till the very last stick.  And you never knew which it would be (though you got pretty good at predicting exactly when your friend’s mom would throw you out of the house…)

That’s kind of how it works with our energy.  We might have an idea where we’re stuck (I’d like a better job, I wish I could write more, why can’t I find a decent partner???) but we really don’t know what to attack to fix it.  Or we might not have any real clue where the stuck is hiding, we just know something ain’t right.

And the ‘go after your dreams wrangle them to the ground and make them your bitch’ style of coach will tell you to, step-by-step, figure out where you’re stuck and then unstick.  Which probably works.  But can also be really really scary and maybe you’re not up to unsticking that particular part of you.  But you can unstick your sock drawer.  You can draw a silly picture every day.  You can go for a walk to clear the cobwebs and then delete old contacts from your address book.

What all of these things have in common is that they help your energy to flow, maybe just a little bit, but movement is movement and you never really know what it is that’s going to get the big stuck unstuck.  It’s a gentle approach to your life and your enery and your tender, fragile dreams.  And if you do these things with intention, with the desire to find an answer or just to see what happens, chances are good that your subconsious, that part of your brain that’s working all the time, will come up with an idea that you might just be able to use to get to the next step.

You don’t have to attack the big scary things.  You don’t have to take the direct path.  You can approach your dreams obliquely.  Just play with the energy and let me know what happens.

Celebrating Avoidance

I woke up to the sound of rain this morning.  And it melted all my ambition, just like that.  There were dishes to do from a dinner party last night, things to clean, business, um, stuff to move ahead on…

If I keep listing it all, I’m gonna need a nap.

I’m a huge fan of Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half fame.  And this one is my current favourite post, partly because I’m convinced I’ll never be a real adult, either.  I regularly (whine)brag to Alan about my (in)abilities at Cleaning All the Things.  I  spent an inordinate amount of time yesterday trying to decide whether it’s better to half-clean most of the things or mostly clean half the things.  Before that, I was all happy about my new life and getting the house sorted and working on my garden.  But then I hit the wall and decided to mostly clean half the things, expecting to be an adult again today.

But then it rained. 

Any day that starts out wet and misery-inducing gets what it deserves.  So, instead of cleaning any of the things, I dragged a table up from the basement and put it together in the bedroom (it was in pieces – that’s the only way it fits through the doors).  So now I have a spot to do some sewing and work on my cards without having to clear it all away every time we want a meal.  I also don’t have to do a weight workout today, cuz, holy crap! That thing is heavy! Plus, now I don’t have to torture my husband with moving it this weekend.

I also got caught up on some correspondence/Facebook and got started on some sewing projects I’d like to have ready should the long slow Spring we’re having round here ever actually take off into summer.

And here’s what I’ve learned about Avoidance.  It’s not really the sinful time-waster the productivity coaches or your teachers/parents/boss will tell you it is.  It can be amazingly productive.  Puttering about, not doing what you “should” be doing can knock an amazing number of little annoying tasks off your to do list.  It’s also how your brain rests.  I go into avoidance mode when I’m tired and haven’t been paying attention to that.  So I potter, I do little tasks, I play.  And somehow, I usually also end up doing the things I set out to avoid doing without really feeling like I’ve had to be an adult and actually do them.

Be gentle with yourself when you’re avoiding something.  There’s far more going on there than you’re giving yourself credit for.

Please share your favourite avoidance activities with us.  It’s always good to add something new to the repertoire.  And have a lovely weekend!

Why I Vote

It’s Election Day here in Canada.  Voter turn-out may be higher than usual today.  A lot of people are frustrated enough to actually get up and go out and mark an X on a piece of paper.  Something that you wouldn’t think would be soooooo difficult.  Something that, as a woman, I am always grateful and proud to do, remembering that, when my mother was born, she wasn’t even considered a person under Canadian law.  Something that on even a cursory skimming of world headlines you realize that people are literally dying to do.

I vote because I care.  I vote because I can.  Mostly I vote because of Debbie. 

I met her at school.  We were 12 and, from the first day of grade seven until the end of high school, she was the one.  You know what I mean.  Every school has one.  The one they all picked on.  The one they made fun of, pushed, laughed at, hated. 

Tormented.

I was the coward in the corner thanking Christ it wasn’t me.  I didn’t actively participate.  But I didn’t help either, because helping would have made me a target and I was too afraid.

When we studied the Holocaust and everyone in class was sure that they’d be terribly brave, would do the right thing, I thought of Debbie.  And I wondered.

Years have passed, but deep down I suspect that I am still that same cowardly girl.  That, if it came to it, chances are I wouldn’t be able to be brave enough.

So every election, no matter what else is going on, even when it’s raining, I go out and I vote.  I vote for fair play.  I vote for human rights.  I vote for the people who want to move us forward.

Democracy isn’t perfect.  Everyone says so, no matter what the details of their democracy happen to be. 

It isn’t perfect, but it sure beats wondering if I could ever be that brave.

* * * * *

(This post may sound familiar to some of you.  It’s a slightly reworked version of a piece I wrote on an earlier blog the last time we went to the polls.  I thought it was maybe worth repeating.)

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