Category Archives: Simplify

How to Slow Down Time

Posted on December 15, 2010 by Barb| 8 Comments

You think I’m kidding, don’t you? I’m not, actually. I’m afraid this is the post where I may lose some of you. It’s the most ‘out-there’ idea I’ve given you yet. But I wouldn’t do it if I hadn’t actually tried it and found that it works.

So. What the heck am I talking about?

Awhile back, I reviewed The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

But I didn’t tell you about the chapter he talks about living in ‘Einstein Time’.

What that means is realizing that we don’t have to worry about not having enough time, that the concept of ‘not enough time’ is all in our heads. When we’re feeling rushed, he suggests taking a deep breath and saying something like ‘all time originates with me’ and just slowing down and going at your own pace.

I know, weird, right?

But if you think about it, you already know that time is fluid. It slows down when you’re bored or frightened and speeds up when you’re enjoying yourself or lost in something really creative.

I once took a class in university that was SO DULL. Just endless droning from the prof for a solid hour. And every class, I’d swear to myself that I WOULD NOT look at the clock. But after three or four days had passed, I just couldn’t stand it any more and I’d have to look. It had been ten minutes (it was at this time that I began to suspect that it really is possible to die of boredom). More suffering, trying to comprehend something from the torrent of words, trying not to look, trying to maintain consciousness. I swear on more than one occasion I looked at that clock and it had moved BACKWARDS!

But that would be illogical, wouldn’t it? Because time is a scientific fact and it only moves forward.

Except that time is man-made, just like money and we give both of them far more power over us than they deserve.

So when I read about Einstein Time, I remembered that class and thought, hmmm… And I started playing with it. On a day when I had a lot I needed to do and I started to feel tense about it, I took a deep breath, let it all out and said the words. And I relaxed and got on with it.

And before I really knew what was happening, I’d done everything I needed to do and was enjoying my end of work cup of tea!

I’ve tried it repeatedly since then and it works so amazingly well.

And, yes, I am enough of a cynic to think that maybe it just works because that deep breath and moment of thought calm me down sufficiently to quell the chanting of ‘getitdonegetitdonegetitdone’ in my head and lets me concentrate better to work more efficiently.

But here’s the weird thing. When I’m running late for an appointment and start to feel panicked about it, I take the deep breath, I say the silly words. And I have not been late for a single appointment.

Give it a try. The worst that will happen is you’ll feel a bit daft and know me for the complete flake that I likely am. Or you might actually find that you really can slow down time.

But now I want to know. Are you racing for the exits here? Or eager to give it a try?

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Posted in Simplify

Tagged breathe

Time Management Hints

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Barb| 4 Comments

Oh, the season is heating up, isn’t it?

I reckon if I’m starting to deploy my favourite time-management tricks, then some of you might be in need of a little help, too.

First of all, you might want to refer back to my post on how to simplify your life (not that you’ll have time for the list-making now). Remember that not every invitation requires a yes (you know you can say No, right?) . You can’t be in two places at once and sometimes you do need to sleep. Be grateful and enthusiastic that you were asked to attend and then let yourself off the hook. And if that doesn’t work, you might want to see about ousting the Guilt Monster.

But even with all that in place, you can still have a few too many things on your To Do list than can reasonably get done in a day. When I’ve got lots and lots to choose from, I try to figure out what one thing (or three things max) I need to do so that I won’t be kicking myself at the end of the day. And then I do it (or them) as early in the day as I can . And if there’s still time to get to some of the other things, well, great! Off we go!

But between snow squalls and last minute invites and drop-in visits from friends, as well as cold season and who knows what all else, the chances of doing everything you want to do are slim to none. But if you get your top priority (or three) taken care of, then the day can fall to pieces around you and you’ll be able to maintain some measure of calm.

I hope this helps. If not, come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you how to slow down time.

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Posted in Simplify

Tagged breathe, organization

You Know You Can Say No, Right?

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Barb| 1 Comment

(This is the second part of the post I started yesterday.)

So. You have your list. Now what?

I recommend taking the top five people or activities on that list and really making time for them in your life. The next five you can keep there as time becomes available. And the rest, you slowly and consciously stop making time for. You say no. You let the membership expire. You let it go. You move on.

This will open up space in your life, space for those top five priorities. Those activities and relationships that are so important to you, that give your life meaning.

This list-making exercise is also really helpful for those times when life seems to be happening all at once. When the demands of your life start to conflict, you can look at your list and remind yourself that your husband is more important than your job. Your mother comes after your kids. Television is way down there at #39 and your husband wants to talk.

Decision-making becomes a whole lot easier when you know what’s important. Guilt becomes less of an issue when you know that you’re choosing your most important over your sort of important. You can’t be two places at once, so you go where you most need to be and let yourself off the hook for everything else.

This is not to say that you will never watch TV again. Or that your number one priority will get all your attention all the time. That tends to scare people. And there will be lots of times when priority one wants to do their own thing. Without you. That’s fine. That leaves time for other people and interests. Or catching up on your sleep.

This is not about perfection or ‘always playing your A-game’ . A-games are exhausting. Lots of times your B-game is plenty good enough. Sometimes your Q-game is all you have in you. It’s OK.

This is just a way of ensuring that what’s important to you gets covered. That you don’t neglect yourself or your loved ones in favour of some committee or hobby that you think you should be spending time on but that, really, you have no interest in.

I made my list nearly twenty years ago. It has helped me make so many important decisions. I was able to guiltlessly abandon the B & B my husband and I were running when my sister was dying. We took a sabbatical when my mother needed care and whenever I begin to squinch up about the financial fallout from that decision, I go back to my list and calm the heck down.

It’s a bit of work to come up with the list, but it can lead to a life that makes that effort so totally worth it.

Please tell me your thoughts. Do you think consciously ordering your priorities will make it easier for you to make time for what gives your life meaning and let the rest slide? Or will it still be difficult?

Today’s photo: Above York Street

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Posted in Simplify, Uncategorized

Tagged self improvement

How Do You Simplify Your Life?

Posted on November 2, 2010 by Barb| 9 Comments

I was at a party last week, talking to people I’d never met before, which is something I always love to do. When I mentioned the word “simplicity” in reference to this blog, one woman asked me “How do you simplify your life?”

Good question!

It took a bit of scrambling (there’s a reason I’m a writer), but I think I managed to come up with something coherent. She looked quite interested in what I had to say, as did the woman sitting next to me. Her question, and the way the two of them listened to my reply has left me thinking that maybe there are others who want to know how to make life simpler.

I mean, there’s a ton of information out there, isn’t there? Entire sites devoted to uncluttering and organizing and cooking really simple dinners and being a minimalist and scaling back and cutting down. Taken head on, it can look a bit exhausting, like more stuff you need to add to your To Do list, which just makes your life more complicated, rather than less.

I lead a pretty simple life, all things considered. And sometimes I forget that I actually took steps to get here. I didn’t just luck into it. I read and questioned and tried things.

The first big step was this: I figured out what my priorities were. I mean, I sat down, I made a list of people and activities that caught my interest or my guilt and I wrote them down.

Then I sorted them by order of importance. In writing.

This can be a truly eye-opening experience. You look at the list when you’re done and if you’ve been really honest with yourself, it will look nothing like what your parents or your teachers or your church would tell it should look. It will be your list. It will be you, getting to know yourself, maybe for the first time in your life.

Maybe you don’t like what your priorities say about you. Maybe you want to put someone or something higher on the list. Maybe you forgot to put yourself on it at all. Well, now you know. You can start to think about making the changes you need to to get your life in line with who you want to be. You have a clearer picture of what you want more of in your life. You are so much closer to a simple life.

Just, please, while you’re doing this, be honest and gentle with yourself. It’s OK not to want to save the world. It’s OK if making a career out of that talent that everyone tells you is so special to you but that actually leaves you cold just isn’t on your list. It’s perfectly fine to want to be a little bit ordinary, or really, really special in ways no one suspected. It’s your list. Don’t let anyone else dictate what goes on it.

I really recommend this exercise if you’re interested in simplifying or whatever you want to call it when you build yourself a life that is really, truly yours.

Try making your list. And tomorrow I’ll tell you the second part of my answer.

And if you’d like to share what came up while doing this exercise, I always love reading your comments!

The Daily Photo: Door Number Two