OK. Call me a contrarian. I know some of the most popular blogs on the web are self-improvement blogs. And I know blogs about a simpler, happier life tend to be about ways to self-improve till you get to that state. And I want this to be a popular blog. But as I’ve already stated, I think you’re fine just the way you are.
The problem I have with self-improvement, and I mean this from the perspective of the times I have attempted to improve myself – if you feel the need, I applaud your efforts – is that it’s just so self-centred. Self-involved. Self (sorry to say it) ish. My experience has taught me that it’s far better for me to just get right outside of myself on a regular basis and into a good book, or a good conversation or a good meal.
You never try to measure your progess against those things. You don’t measure your own worth against a moment of beauty or grace or wonder as you do against an endless to-do list or goal chart.
In my experience, the more time I can spend outside of my own head, my own concerns, my own list of things that need improving, the happier I am. And if the whole point of self-improvement is to live a happier, more fulfilled life (and that is the whole point, isn’t it? It can’t just be about the discipline?)then why not just jump directly to that? Enjoy the sunset, the glass of wine, the visit with an old friend.
This doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up doing my morning crunches. I like having strong abs. They keep my back from going out. But for every minute I spend doing them, I try to spend at least five minutes curled up with a good book.
Please let me know what you think. Are you a self-improvement enthusiast, or do you prefer to curl up with a cup of tea and contemplate the wonders of the world around you?
I love this post!
When I thought of doing a blog, I considered a self-improvement-themed one. Heck, I’d been through Tony Robbins CD’s twice. I KNEW I could make that work.
Instead, I tried (tried is the operative word here!) to create a blog that simply did what you said: “Enjoy the sunset, the glass of wine, the visit with an old friend.”
It has taken me “outside my comfort zone” and made me question a lot, try some things that worked and other things that were abyssmal failures.
But, by attempting to focus on the marrow of life, I have found self-improvement beginning as a by-process. And, for me, that has been a tremendous boon. For my readers…well, I have much to learn yet as to how to provide value on my current blog.
I very much appreciate your sentiment about getting outside yourself. I find my greatest reward when I extend myself to others in some way.
Thanks for writing this!
This is cool, Chris. We’re starting a self-improvement revolution!
And, by the way, I really like your blog.
I am very much a mixed-up self-improvement and go with the flow kind of gal…but I think that with the older (and wiser) I become the more I am indeed realizing that life is too short and it`s high time to love the skin that I`m in and all the freckles, wrinkles, lumps and bumps (inside and out) that make me me…
Now me just saying that out loud is self improving.
Hmmm… You’re giving me an idea for another post… Thanks, Kim!
Interesting post. Food for thought.
I disagree, however, with the opening generalization with regard to “self-improvement”.
You are doing morning crunches for stronger abs to aid your lower back – self-improvement.
Slowing down your lifestyle, getting outside your head – self improvement (i.e. relaxation).
Much of the “Self Improvement” movement is comprised of simple suggestions, to techniques, for relaxation, focussing on what is important to you.
“Self Improvement” is a HUGE category, with many sub-categories. Some of it is applicable to everyone (i.e. how do I relax in the midst of an economic crisis) while other is self-serving, self-indulgent and/or selfish (i.e. I want a tighter butt to attract the opposite sex).
Weight reduction – is it self-indulgent or self-improvement? Depends on the motivation behind it. Is it for vanity or health?
Don’t ignore “Self-Improvement” as a category. Ignore the aspects which don’t interest you or which don’t apply to your lifestyle or current situation.
Thanks for your thoughts, Rick. You’ve given me something to think about.
I’ll be revisiting this subject again, I’m sure.
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I’m currently grinding through a self help book. I’m finding that self improvement requires the participant to be selfish if only to actually improve hisself. Yes, I agree, the process is self centered. That’s why its called self improvement. But the selfishness is only a means to an end. If you can learn to honor your own needs and desires, you can learn what things you appreciate. Once a person learns self love, he is more apt to share with others.
I think that what a lot of people need is not so much a self-improvement regime as a refocusing regime; refocusing on what is actually meaningful to them and decluttering some of the haphazardly accumulated baggage, in terms of scheduling, mental chatter, and stuff.
Refocusing – I like that!
nice post. it’s helpfull,
Great perspective. I think it’s super helpful to do things we love so that we can feel great about ourselves. The internal self-improvement is done so that we can heal the stuff in our past that gets in the way of deeper fulfillment. The whole idea of both approaches is to find happiness.
And, of course, once we find happiness, the approach doesn’t really matter.
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I’m cuddling with a fussy babe (who has FINALLY fallen asleep), and am enjoying a re-read of your old posts. Great fun!
If you don’t mind, can you please e-mail me the pic from this post? It captures such a beautiful moment…one that I had forgotten about until I saw it.
Thanks!